Well, it’s actually not that hard, but you have to do it with some understanding of how to play the game. Because there are many ways to do it wrong, and only a few to do it right…

QUESTION ABOUT FACEBOOK:

Carlos, hey man, thanks for all your great advice…

I wanted to ask you about something – how can I use Facebook to meet women online?

I’ve heard that it can be done, but I can’t help thinking it would be weird and creepy to approach some of my friends’ friends like this and ask for a date.

But it seems like a MEGA opportunity to meet women.

How can I work this?

- Allen L., Houston

CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

I’ve been eyeing this method to meeting women for some time, and I agree completely. It IS a mega-mega opportunity to meet women…
…if it’s handled right.

First of all, let’s remember the catastrophe that is “Myspace.” (May it rest in peace.) That social network has been so polluted and abused that it’s really not useful anymore. I know I don’t take it seriously.

What happened there?

Well, first of all, everyone got slammed with spam. A few clever programmers and bulk friend programs, and suddenly you had Myspace pages that looked like web sites from the year 1998.

Cheap backgrounds, silly wallpaper, and everybody’s page looked like a 14-year-old girl’s bedroom, complete with Britney Spears posters.

Enter Facebook.

A whole lot classier than its trailer-park cousin, Facebook has maintained a better image. But with a bunch of cool toys and add-ons that made it interesting and more fun.

So how can you work this great social networking tool to help you with your dating life – while not looking like some pervert who got kicked out of the alleys of Myspace?

I’ll give you a very simple 4-step model to use. This is the one that my friends and I have used consistently to get results online.

STEP 1: Connect with the guys – and other women – who have a lot of cute girl friends.

In other words, connect with people that YOU are not interested in dating who have big networks.

You must be very indirect at first using Facebook.

Remember the lesson from Myspace – Don’t be a spammer!

This is not “match.com” or an online dating site, so don’t just start sending out invites and emails hoping to score based on numbers. We’ve come to hate the abusers, and you’ll just get your sorry ass kicked right off.

Start out with light connections. Think “friends first.”

Don’t make your Facebook profile look like you’re trying to meet women. Be subtle.

What you’re trying to do is multiply your results and increase your connection potential by meeting more people who know more people.

If you just start trying to hit on the women you’re interested in right off the bat, you’ll be limiting your results with shortsighted thinking.

Think out to the LONG term. The more cool people you connect with and forge relationships with, the more likely you are to connect with a woman naturally.

STEP 2: Connect with women you are interested in VERY indirectly.

What you have to do is send a simple friend request – and make sure you include a message with it!

You just say something like, “Hey, I saw we’re both friends with Greg… Then I noticed you’re a snowboarder, too… Ever go to Tahoe?”

You see what I did there? I left a question INSIDE my friend request. For her to answer it, she’s going to feel compelled to add me.

It’s also just something people are looking to do. Let’s face it, we all measure our social success by how many people we’ve got as friends on Facebook. We all want a HUGE network, so women will WANT to add you – if only to increase their friend count.

STEP 3: Start leveraging the tools.

Facebook has a huge amount of potential for the guy who wants to take advantage of them. You can add all kinds of cute little applications to send virtual drinks to friends, send goofy gifts, or even start your own polls and surveys.

But one of the best tools you need to be using is the GROUP function on Facebook.

In fact, in preparing for this article, I created the group “Carlos Xuma’s Alpha Lifestyle” to start connecting you guys together and enabling men to share information.

You can do this, too. Just create a group based on your passion and your local area.

I’m going to advise you to avoid starting a group based on “Warcraft” or on the latest hot actress.

Make your group something a woman can relate to and might be interested in. Maybe it’s the television show “Lost…” or maybe it’s about all things Italian.

Ba-da-bing! Now you’ve got a hook to use to invite her into your group.

STEP 4: Start escalating and creating more opportunities.

Remember, this is a VIRTUAL tool. It’s online.

In other words, your connections don’t REALLY exist anywhere except on some server in an air-conditioned room in a data center somewhere.

It’s up to YOU to bring these connections to life with events that you can invite people to.

Most people will stroll around this virtual network, but then never take it into the REAL world. That’s where YOU come in.

Maybe once a month you should organize a happy hour at your local favorite bar. Or maybe you make a Facebook group for wine tasters, and then every other

Friday you meet up and go tasting the latest Pinot Noirs.

THAT is your opportunity to start looking for romantic potential in the groups. You have to remember that you can’t be a Facebook “pickup artist” and try to attract women online.

You have to build a network, forge some connections, and meet women in person to start creating the attraction.

That being said, you can also send out some playful introductions to women you don’t know and see if they bite. (Just make sure your profile has enough interesting bait for them to nibble at…)

Write on people’s walls…
Send a few virtual drinks…
Send some good karma…
Use the “Flirtable” app…

For the man with initiative, the Facebook world is yours.

So step up and start creating the social network, then start meeting the women in it.

By the way, if you’d like to add me as a friend, go look me up. Carlos Xuma on Facebook.com… Get Social!

Carlos Xuma is a well-known expert in the dating-seduction related field and an author of bestselling titles such as “Secrets of the Alpha Male“, “Approach Women – NOW!“, “Alpha Immersion” and “Alpha Man Communication & Persuasion“.

But then Facebook came along – and did a MUCH better job of keeping out the internet mongers.   Thus it has become a reliable venue for meeting women online and can really breathe some life back into your dating life.  The thing is – you gotta know HOW to market yourself on Facebook so you don’t look like some jackass from Myspace who just got a new playground.

Here are four simple steps you can follow to begin to open the floodgates.

STEP 1: Connect with the guys – and other women – who have a lot of cute girl friends.  You have to be circumspect at the beginning, or you really could accused of spamming and kicked out.  So root out the people who have big networks – and become their friends.  Remember – in this case – friends FIRST!

Next – start trying to connect with the women you are interested in a very roundabout manner.  Send them a friend request with a message.  Now, if you send a message that says, “Hey baby you are HOT – wanna hook up?”  She is going to kick you right in your cyber-nuts and block you.  Instead – find something about her that you have in common, and find a person that you are both friends with.  Instead, say something like “Hey I saw you on Michael’s friend list and I noticed that you love to read too.  Have you ever read The Death Gate Cycle by Margaret Weiss and Tracy Hickman?”  Make sure it’s a question, too, so she feels compelled to answer you.

STEP 3: Start using the tools that Facebook offers.  If you are meeting women online, you have got to at least use the Group tool.  If you want to start doing that – check out the group “Carlos Xuma’s Alpha Lifestyle” – it is a totally cool way tyo get together with other MEN and discuss the latest dating tips for men on the internet.

Anyway – create a group that is something that women would like too.  Ok- so no Fantasy Baseball League Group.  Instead try something about maybe coffee or cooking, fitness, the latest reality show or local venues.  Something a woman can get into.  Then – invite her to your group!

The last step is where you really start getting into the good stuff.  Here is where you begin to take your Group offline – have a party at a local bar, or set up a group outing.  THIS is where you can start really meeting the women.  Have a wine appreciation group?  Go to wine tasting.  Have a gourmet food group?  Check out a new restaurant.  Get the drift, Kimosabe?

Ok – so this is some pretty basic stuff, but it can really liven up your dating life.  If you want to REALLY learn some tips and tricks for meeting women online, check out David Deangelo’s program called, coincidentally enough, Meeting Women Online.    Or – if you want to read some REALLY cool dating tips for men by Carlos Xuma (mentioned above – and you can actually hook up with him on Facebook.  Talk about a NETWORK!) check out his Dating Black Book of dating tips.

A lot of men think that meeting women online is easy – I mean, there are millions of women looking for online dating services, so it should be like fishing in a bucket, right? Well, actually, no that is not right. The world of online dating is actually very competitive – and in order to get anywhere, you have to really learn the ins and outs of the game.

The first thing you will have to do is put up a profile. Make it totally honest – don’t put your picture up from 5 years ago before you gained 30 pounds. THEN, instead of telling her about you r personality using WAY overused boring CRAP, let’s try to be a bit different, shall we?

Instead – tell a story about yourself that exemplifies your personality. Tell her about the time you went hiking in the mountains, and what you saw, experienced and felt. Tell her what it made you feel and try to show the reader through example what is important to you, what you love, cherish and want. Tell a story that shows your sense of humor or your ability to take care of things for other people. The main thing is – you need to show her (by HER, I mean the girls that will be checking out your profile) that you are intelligent, fun and ATTRACTIVE.

By the way, do you know what actually attracts girls ? I’ll give you a hint – it’s not your pearly whites or your 6 pack abs. Did you know that girls are not attracted to men because of their looks? Really. I mean, sure – girls notice and are attracted to hot guys. BUT no matter what you look like, you can spark really intense attraction for a woman by making her FEEL a certain way. She wants a man who will make her feel like she is safe and protected, and like YOU can handle any situation in a cool and yet thoroughly masculine way.

So these are things you need to show off in your dating website profile. I have been researching this a lot lately – and I learned SO much by watching David Deangelo’s program, meeting women online. It’s a really in depth program and you should go check it out. (I use some of the email templates in there and they REALLY do work).

Anyway – another thing about your profile, or any email you write to a girl – NO WINKS! Don’t send those little nudges to a woman and then wait for her to write back or wink back at you or whatever. Get the nards to make your approach first, whether it be online or in the real world. Don’t even send smileys in an email – that’s just …feminine. Don’t do it.

What you DO want to do when meeting women online is to make her laugh. Be witty and funny – something David Deangelo calls “Cocky Comedy”. What it is – is using humor to spark attraction. You bust on her about the little things, like telling her that her picture is cheesy or she needs to learn how to write a profile – and challenge her. Make her want to prove something to you.

Learning different techniques like this will greatly improve your success rate in dating online. There are a lot of other men out there that you are in competition with, even if only by sheer VOLUME of the other men out there. Make an impression on her and get the girl before anyone even knew she was there – using your own LEARNING and whit – and learning to spark attraction in women.